Reality Check
by Veronica Barton
Summary: Sydney is confronted with two different realms of reality
1. Default Chapter

Reality Check  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ALIAS, and after the whole "Vaughn might have died" finale, I'm a little upset that JJ does!!!  
  
  
  
I don't like to cuss, but I know the characters do, so I've put the first letter and little stars, juvenile I know…GET OVER IT!!!!  
  
  
  
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--- "I've waited almost thirty years for this…"  
  
"Mom!?!"---  
  
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Mental overload, emotional overload.  
  
  
  
My sanity is sinking! The chaos is closing in around me! I'm drowning, I actually feel myself drowning!  
  
  
  
Vaughn… Vaughn drowned, right in front of my eyes, why!?! Why did he do that? What the H*** was he thinking? About me… he was thinking about me, he always does! And how do I repay him!?! I don't, I just watch as he drowns… I just sit and watch as my lifeline fades into the Abyss, how ironic…  
  
  
  
"Sydney?"  
  
  
  
The sound of concern in "my mother's" voice brought me back to reality, that and an up chuck reflex! I watch as she places a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to connect with me, to bring me back to the land of the living. This wasn't the reaction I had hoped for, longed for. I wanted to be in control of the situation, to be the interrogator, not the interrogatee. Alas, this is my reality.  
  
  
  
Growling, I whisper in disgust, "Don't touch me!"  
  
  
  
My voice cracks, and then the sobs and screams come like tidal waves, each taking their turn. I've earned this, I've gone without a mother for almost 20 years! I've been deprived, deprived of my God-given right to yell at my mother, I 'm going to make up for it now. I may not get answers, but she'll know what she's done, even if she doesn't give a d***!  
  
  
  
"If you cared so much why did you wait? Wait, I know why, because you DIDN'T care, you're not capable of caring, caring would require a heart, something you couldn't possibly have, seeing as how you are SATAN himself!!!"  
  
  
  
Sob…  
  
  
  
"The Man," perfect cover! At least THAT is truthful!"  
  
  
  
Sob… I'm having flashbacks from the FBI tribunal interrogation, I've got to top that!  
  
  
  
"You ruined MY LIFE, my childhood! I took ballet because of YOU, 12 years of TORTURE in those stupid toes shoes!!! Not to mention I'm slaving away in more school than any person should have to endure, just because YOU were a professor, so of course, STUPID SYDNEY, has to be one too!!!"  
  
  
  
Sob, and a huge sigh, my energy is depleting, I should have eaten! But I'm not through, despite the fact that my body is now violently shaking, and a mixture of tears and snot has completely covered my face, I go on.  
  
  
  
"Everyone who's ever been real in my life, I've lost because of you! Why don't you just kill me, I'm already dead, there's nothing for me…NOTHING!"  
  
  
  
I raise my eyes to challenge her, but they feel as though they will jump right out of my head when that psycho oriental guy walks into the room. I remember him, how could I forget!?! My mouth starts to hurt, as well as my heart when I realize that he works for her, and she knows exactly what he put me through. Any hope I had that she had even the smallest piece of a heart, left when he walked in.  
  
  
  
"Gee, MOM, trying to make up for not being there to take me to the dentist!?!" I ask sarcastically, while trying to regain my composure enough to see what is in his little black box.  
  
  
  
Oh, big shocker, a super sized needle, if I'm lucky it's a permanent painkiller, but then again I've never been THAT lucky! I'm still shaking uncontrollably as he walks over and gently injects me with the mystery juice, "A little more customer friendly with the boss in the room, aren't ya!?!"  
  
  
  
He makes the mistake of mockingly smiling at me, so of course I have to spit in his face, "You need to moist-your-eyes!" I think I have probably gone insane as I giggle at my own little American culture joke.  
  
  
  
I feel a since of victory as he backs away, and fights to control himself.  
  
  
  
"Sydney, I realize you have lots of questions, and there will be plenty of time for that, but you've had an exhausting day, so we'll talk after you get some rest."  
  
  
  
What a walking oxymoron, she looks and acts like Satan, but talks like a saint!  
  
  
  
"Kind'a hard to rest with these on," I say while attempting to raise my wrists shackled in chains.  
  
  
  
I hear a snicker from behind her. "Like mother, like daughter, so they say!"  
  
  
  
Sark's face comes into view just as mine goes blank.  
  
  
  
TBC 


	2. Scene 2

Reality Check  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ALIAS, and after the whole "Vaughn might have died" finale, I'm a little upset that JJ does!!!  
  
  
  
I don't like to cuss, but I know the characters do, so I've put the first letter and little stars, juvenile I know…GET OVER IT!!!!  
  
  
  
ALSO- I am not a medical expert, so I might have some of the jargon wrong  
  
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SCENE 2  
  
  
  
-------Sark's face comes into view just as mine goes blank.-------  
  
  
  
I slowly regain my senses.  
  
  
  
The first is the sound of a soft, high-pitched (and, might I add, very annoying) beeping noise.  
  
  
  
Beeeep… Beeeep… Beeeep...  
  
  
  
Next is touch; the feel, of the crisp and cool sheets that cover me, and the stiff yet soft mattress that supports me. Along with something else, a dull, piercing pain in my right arm, but a warmth in my left coming from a hand that is holding mine.  
  
  
  
My eyes flutter open, to take in a symphony of bright blurry colors. They begin to focus on the figure standing over me. I wonder if perhaps the masculine figure is an angel, have I finally lucked out! But I soon realize that his halo is florescent; and although he IS wearing a white jacket, its covering a navy blue v-neck T-shirt, somehow I doubt angels wear 100% cotton clothing. Which is really quite fortunate for them, since they do tend to shrink like crazy!  
  
  
  
My eyes wander up, from his attire, to his face; hmm, going for the whole "haven't shaved in two days look" are we?  
  
  
  
Still feeling like I've been run over by a semi-truck, I stare blankly at his face. Wait a minute… that smile… that nose… those eyes! Okay, either I HAVE died, or apparently my mental senses have yet to make an appearance! This has to be some cruel joke. He's dead, I saw him with my own eyes.  
  
  
  
I desperately want to cry, or shout, but my well seems to be dry. How I manage even one word, I don't know, but with every ounce of energy and determination I can muster I utter…  
  
  
  
"Danny!?!"  
  
  
  
TBC 


	3. Scene 3

Reality Check  
  
  
  
Disclaimers in chapters 1&2  
  
  
  
ALSO- I am not a medical expert, so I might have some of the jargon wrong  
  
  
  
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-----"Danny!?!"-----  
  
  
  
SCENE 3  
  
  
  
"WELL, hello Sydney! Good to see you awake; you had us all scared! Very dramatic of you, ought to win you another Oscar!" My, supposedly deceased, fiancee says with a wink. My mind is still too mushy to fully comprehend his words, but I know that tone, and that look.  
  
  
  
I've seen this side of him before, the "make you feel comfortable in a horrible hospital" side. I had always thought it was cute, and even sexy in a "the man I love tries to heal people both inside and out" sort of way. But now it's just plain annoying! I mean he's acting as if I'm just a another patient, just another stranger in need, and as if it's not at all bazaar that he has risen from the dead!  
  
  
  
Obviously, the millions of conflicting emotions that I am feeling, at this very awkward moment in time, are written all over my face, and have rendered me utterly speechless. Fortunately, the very kind but professional doctor comes to my rescue!  
  
  
  
"Sorry, I'm Dr. Danny Hecht," he says, in his adorable accent, accompanied by a huge reassuring smile.  
  
  
  
Still ignoring my expression of shock and pain, he proceeds to review my chart and let me know that, due to a car wreck, I've been in a coma for little more than a month. Apparently, I am recovering quite nicely, but he is certain I have amnesia. He refers to "While You Were Sleeping," to explain my situation. Which is a little odd, because I can't remember Danny ever being so into movies.  
  
  
  
I watch as he leans over to inject something into my IV, "I'm going to give you something for the pain, it should help you rest, don't you worry, we'll have you back on your feet in no time!"  
  
  
  
He lingers over me a moment too long, giving me just enough time to lift my heavy arm and cup his scratchy check in the palm of my hand.  
  
  
  
"You're alive!" I whisper, as my voice breaks into a sob.  
  
  
  
I can tell he's trying to not be freaked out by a girl, who he apparently thinks, is just another patient zoned out on drugs, "And so are you! Get some rest, I'll go tell your family the good news!"  
  
  
  
"FAMILY!?! Since when do I have FAMILY!?!" My mind begs to ask this question, and so many more, but it's too late, the med.s are kicking in and I can feel myself drifting into unconsciousness. I willingly surrender; too mentally and physically exhausted to explore this weird yet wonderful reality I now find myself in.  
  
  
  
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My eyelids are too heavy to open, and except for sound, all of my other senses seem to be on vacation.  
  
  
  
However, the angry words, spoken in a familiar female voice (seasoned with a Russian accent), I hear is enough to convince me to escape back into the nothingness of sleep.  
  
  
  
"What the H*** did you give her!?! Don't kill her, she's the KEY, she's no use to us dead you imbecile!!!"  
  
  
  
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After what seems like days, I pry my eyelids open. As soon as I do, I wish I hadn't, because I'm staring right into her face, the face of evil. The sight of her sends an electric current throughout my entire body; I am suddenly extremely awake and alert. Just when I think I've mustered up enough energy to jump up and kick her butt, my emergency battery goes dead as I watch the tears running down her face, and hear her speak through broken sobs.  
  
  
  
"Sydney… I'm so sorry Sydney… so sorry… can you ever forgive me!?!"  
  
  
  
TBC 


	4. Scene 4

Reality Check  
  
  
  
Disclaimers in chapters 1&2  
  
  
  
"I'm so sorry Sydney can you ever forgive me, I'm so sorry..  
  
  
  
I woke to the sound of a sobbing Slavic. What a foreign concept, not so much the accent, but rather MY "mother" pleading for mercy. from ME!  
  
It's like a dream come true; too bad it's just a dream.  
  
It's funny though, how dreams can feel more real than reality. Like how I can actually feel the conflicting emotions battling within me. I want to cry with her, scream at her, give her a big bear hug, and punch her lights out all at the same time.  
  
I suppose it should be reassuring to know my first reaction to the distress of another is that of pity and concern, at least I haven't fully become what I hate.  
  
But then, like images on a movie screen, the transgressions for which she is begging forgiveness play through my mind. Motherless moments at school, a shattered and useless father, and being the target for every international intelligence bad guy.  
  
The funeral, so many funerals. hers, Danny's, and now Vaughn's.mine. In hindsight, my life hadn't really been about "life" at all, but "death" and "good-bye's". Something I hadn't fully grasped until I watched my last hope disappear into a dark abyss (yet another disastrous creation of my mother).  
  
This last truth brings me back to reality; I open my eyes ready to deny her emotional request, but realize that I have been mistaken.  
  
The woman clinging to and crying all over my hand, while slightly rocking back and forth, can't possibly be MY mother. Gone is the sleek, black outfit of a master criminal; in its place are Capri khakis and an oversized periwinkle oxford. She looks more like a suburban socialite than Satan's sidekick!  
  
This poor woman is obviously so distraught, and blinded by her tears that she has mistaken me for her daughter. Making a pointless attempt to lift my 500-pound arm, to kindly correct her, I go to Plan B. mumbling.  
  
"Mmmm.Ma'am."  
  
"AHHH, SYDNEY!!!"  
  
Wow, quick reflexes! Hope she didn't brake her neck! But even the tearstains can't disguise that face; it's the same one that slithered from the shadows. The image etched in my mind. It's her. my.  
  
"Mother?"  
  
Her hands, wet with tears, reach up to caress my face, my head too heavy to turn in disgust. "Oh my sweet Sydney, I'm so sorry we fought, can you ever forgive me, this is all my fault, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Fought?"  
  
"Before the wreck. we fought. I'm sorry I ever said anything, I just don't want you to repeat MY mistakes!"  
  
"Don't worry!" I sharply retort.  
  
Apparently my syllables are still slurred, she continues as if I said nothing.  
  
"Sydney, you're really great at what you do, and I'm so, so proud of you, but please don't let your career come between you and those who love and need you, it's just not worth it! Believe me, I know. I don't want YOUR daughter to hate YOU."  
  
Wait a minute; that was MY speech, okay I'm really confused. This is like a really freaky episode of the Twilight Zone. Danny's alive but doesn't know me and my mother is apologizing and giving advice, hmm.  
  
"Dad.where's dad?"  
  
She pauses and smiles; can't tell if she feels rejected or relieved that I'm actually talking.  
  
"He's right outside, with the doctor, hold on I'll get him."  
  
I'll have to get the recipe from mom's crazy Chinese guy; whatever he put in me is the best hallucinogen EVER! Danny may not know me, but he's alive, and my "mother" is here without a master plan for world domination, and about to go TALK to my father, WITHOUT a gun.  
  
This perfect dream is missing only one thing, one person. But I don't deserve to see him again; not after allowing him to pay the ultimate price for me.anyway this is a happy dream, not a nightmare, right now I'll just settle to see my parents in the same room and happy!  
  
Maybe if I'm lucky "Mommy Dearest" will lock me up in some forgotten cell, and hook me up to a constant supply of this stuff.  
  
Better than facing reality.  
  
TBC 


	5. Scene 5

1] Thanks everybody for all the reviews, and for your patience, I promise I DO know where I'm heading with this it's just taking me a while to get there, please keep letting me know what you think, even if you're confused!!!  
  
  
  
2] Okay, my transcripts aren't transferring over properly, so I'm having to get creative with my punctuation marks, sorry!  
  
  
  
3] Don't worry, I am a diehard Syd & Vaughn fan, I'm just save'n the best for last!  
  
  
  
* * * * * * * ** ** ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
---Better than facing reality,,,  
  
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Okay Syd, pull yourself together, this ought to be interesting, you'll want to be fully awake and alert for this! And since it's JUST a dream, why not have a little fun,,,  
  
"Hi Daddy!"  
  
I say in a sugary sweet voice, as if I was a typical "daddy's girl" and he nothing but a loving and concerned father.  
  
But as he walks in, I notice he doesn't seem that different from real life, perhaps a little less stressed, but still serious and impossible to read. I feel a desperate need to break the silence as he slumps down into the chair next to me, with a look of hesitant happiness.  
  
"So guess who I just talked to?"  
  
No answer, Okay I'll tell you,,,  
  
"Mom! Yeah, she apologized and told me not to make the same mistakes as she did, which will be pretty easy since I have no evil plan to take over the world,,,"  
  
The silent speaks, while sitting up straighter, "Syd, your mom has made lots of mistakes but she's hardly evil, I thought we had put all of this behind us?"  
  
"Oh yeah, we have," that's right in THIS dream we're one big happy family, "it was just good to hear her say it, that's all."  
  
"Syd I know the years we were separated were really hard on you, I'm not blind, I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you more, but now we're really trying,,, me and mom, we're ganna make it up to you guys,,,"  
  
'You guys', that's plural, hmm, guess in this dream I actually have siblings (sigh),,,  
  
"So what did Danny say?"  
  
"Dr.Hecht? Said you might have some trouble remembering things, you may be a bit confused for awhile, gave us some tips on how to help you remember,,,"  
  
The door opened and the intruder interrupted our "father-daughter" moment.  
  
"Sis!"  
  
WHAT!?! Straining my neck to see around dad's big head, I'm somewhat confused but not too surprised at the person I see,,,  
  
TBC  
  
(sorry, trying to give you some cliffhangers!) 


End file.
